August 18th 2015 - Chronic pain

August 18th 2015 - Chronic pain

Let's start right at the beginning - What is Chronic pain?

Chronic pain is often defined as any pain lasting more than 12 weeks. Whereas acute pain is a normal sensation that alerts us to possible injury, chronic pain is very different. Chronic pain persists—often for months or years.  It is a persistant unpleasant discomfort that is often resilient to medications.

I have had knee pain since I was 4years old.  At that point in time my parents were told it was growing pains and I would eventually outgrow the symptoms.  I remember my Mum sitting and massaging creams and things into my knees from this age in an attempt to ease the pain an help me sleep, I would often wake during the night crying with pain in my knees.  It never got better!

When I was about 12 the doctors agreed that it probably wasn't growing pains and sent me for xrays and scans and various tests.  The results of this came back that I was suffering from Osgood -schlatters disease.  This resulted in me not doing much in the way of PE at school, I had to give up dance and gymnastics that I had done for many years and I spent most of my teenage years on crutches as I couldn't walk and weight bare for long periods of time and my knees would give way without warning.

This continued well after I left school and started work, I had to stop working in the nursing home as it was putting too much strain on my knees and got an office job of which I was sacked due to time off with knee problems and not being able to go in.  When I was pregnant I had even more problems due to the extra weight I was carrying and again had to use crutches.

Things seemed that they had settled down in my late 20's, I still had problems and pain but was only occasionally, and more so when I had over done things.  My doctor said I had mild chronic pain syndrome and the only way to ease it was pain meds and rest when I had a flare up.

In January 2013 I was dancing on the wii with the kids when I twisted my knee - I collapsed straight away and the pain going through my knee was something like I had never felt before.  I spent the net few days resting, using ice packs and taking pain killers.  It seemed to be easing up a little and I was able to walk abit more. The week after I twisted it I had gone outside to the rubbish bin and I slipped on the ice on the path and was unable to walk and weight bare and ended up in a&e.  After 2 xrays  being given crutches and a thigh to ankle knee brace I left a&e.

I saw a consultant 2 weeks later and was no better, I was  given more stronger pain killers and told to rest as much as I could.  This went on for 4months and I was put on morphine patches and they decided to send me to a physiotherapist - this took a further 6weeks for an appointment and by this time it was a few days before I was due to move house so the physio didn't do anything.  Once I was registered with a doctor in my new area the sent me to the chronic pain clinic who confirmed that I was now suffering chronic pain.  I was referred to a surgeon and 6weeks after seeing him he operated on my knee in April 2014.  Apart from the fact I can now walk short distances without crutches I am still in as much pain every day as I was.

Some days are struggle to even get out of bed as I am in that much pain, others I can do some things.  I am not lazy I am just in constant pain, I am always tired as I am unable to sleep much at night due to the pain I am in, the constant pain has affected my mood and I am clinically depressed and I have seen a counselor about it, I have a short memory due to being so tired, I amnot able to do all the things I used to do and its not just me that is suffering but my family too.  I found this 2nd pin and it is very acurate and I would like to share with my friends and family.

 

I have been referred back to the surgeon who has requested another MRI scan on my knee, thinks steroid injections into knee may help and has sent me bac to the chronic pain clinic.  It is just a waiting game.  I never thought I would be disabled at the age of 33 and not able to do much, I have had enough of constant pain and not being able to walk places with my kids etc.  I have hired a mobility scooter for our holiday and I plan to buy one so we can start going out places again.

June 10th 2015 - Things that make me smile

June 10th 2015 - things that make me smile

As you are probably aware from previous posts I am currently having problems with depression, this isn't something new I have had problems for over 10years (since my mum died), but I have coped.  The last 2years have been really bad since I injured my knee and can't do much despite having surgery on it.

Anyway, I decided at the begining of the year I was going to keep a log of all the things that make me smile on facebook.  It is anything from something my kids have said or done to things that I have read etc, nothing in particular but anything that makes me smile.

The reason I have made this todays pin is because I ordered my son a shirt for a fancy dress day at school, its age 10-11years and I can fit in it!  This may not sound such a big thing to most people but as I am a size 16-18ladies (depending on where I buy from) this is a big achievement.  I am at the biggest I have ever been (even when pregnant) as I am unable to do much in the way of exercise due to my knee problem, and this doesn't help with the depression.  All I can say is the top is going to drown my son! lol!

June 9th 2015 - Small steps

June 9th 2015 - Small steps

Today I saw the counsellor again, not seen her for a few weeks because of various things an having to cancel appointments.  She is really pleased that I seem to be happier than when she first saw me and believes that she can discharge me in a couple of weeks.

She believes that her small steps to bigger things, like the pin says, has helped me.  I think its because the weather has turned nice and is sunny!

I'm still not 100% ok and i'm still getting snappy for no reason, I still feel down and i'm still not sleeping.  BUT most of this I think is linked to lack of sleep which is due to pain in my knee.  I also think most of feeling down is linked to my knee as I can't do as much as used to, my kids cant do as much as we used to because I can't walk for long or very far and i'm always in pain.  But if this is how things are going to be may have to just get on with it!

March 17th 2015 - Depression

March 17th 2015 - Depression

Firstly Happy St Patrick's Day to everyone who is Irish, or Irish Decent or just celebrating.  Have a great day. I had hoped for today to be able to do something linked to St Patrick's Day, but this wasn't the case.

Today I had an appointment at the hospital with 1 of the counselling team about my depression and how they can help me to try and get up from the low place I am in at the moment.  I had spoken to the lady on the phone a few weeks ago but today was my first face to face appointment.  It went ok, the lady is nice (which is a good thing).  We went over the things that are making me feel depressed and why I think they are affecting me and we talked about the depression circle similar to this pin, we filled out a sheet about me in each box.

The lady has set me some "homework" for our next appointment in 2weeks time.  I need to fill out a few sheets of "what I do" and "what I did before but don't do now" and have a booklet to have a read through, plus I need to work out some "Goals" of what I would like to get from the sessions and how we can achieve them.

She did say that normally 1 of things that would be suggested for people with depression is to get out of the house for at least half hour a day and go for walk somewhere, but as I am still struggling with walking linked to my knee injury and the surgery I had on it last year that's not really an option as I end up in pain after walking.  I agree sitting at home within 4 walls probably isn't helping my mood but I am limited on what I can do.  (Don't get me wrong I like my walls, they are decorated lovely - a deep purple on most of them with a white and purple wallpaper of roses on my chimney).

So once the kids are in bed I plan to work on some of it to see what I can come up with.  I also need to get into the doctors to sort a medication review as I don't think my meds are doing much - the pain killers for knee are not easing that much and the anti-depressants that are meant to help me sleep aren't doing that as I am still awake at 1-2 in the morning most mornings despite going to bed at about 10pm!

February 9th 2015 - Depression

February 9th 2015 - Depression

Today I had a telephone conversation with a counsellor I was referred to by my GP for Depression.  After going through the answers to the questionaire I was sent and answering her questions she conifrmed I am suffering from depression - well yes luv thats why I was referred to you!!!  Tell me something I don't know!

So this hasn't helped my mood much.  So for todays pin I don't have 1 pin but a whole new board linked to depression. 

There are many factors linked to my depression and low mood, and they stem back over 10years to when my Mum died, add to that 2 years later my Dad dying, move forward a few more years and my Hubby has a serious road accident of which had he been in a car wouldn't be alive today, filter into this lack of money, moving away from my friends and family (don't get me wrong I love where I live now, but I do miss my close friends), then there is the chronic knee pain resulting from twising it 2years ago and surgery almost 1 year ago, plus probably loads of other little things that on their own would be fine but altogether are a big problem.  I have tried to be strong and hide it for too long and it has just got to the point I can't do it any more.  I have spent the past 10years on and off anti-depressants.

I am fed up of not sleeping but being tired all the time, being hungry but not wanting to eat, being in constant pain, having no energy all the time.  The list goes on.

Anyway, hopefully the counsellor I see in person will be more use and come up with ideas to sort me out.

My Gp said I was a negative person as I came up with a reason why I couldn't do what he suggested - errrr no its genuine reasons.  He said "wrap up warm and go for a long walk" - I can't as recovering from knee surgery - some days just walking around the house hurts.  He said "go to the pub for dinner with your Hubby" - I can't as we can't afford to as on benefits.  He said "go to the pub for drinks" - just told you we can't afford to.  He said "go shopping with your lady friends during the day" - errr that involves money that I don't have and most are at work during the day.  He said "visit family" - I can't they are 5hrs down south in a car and I don't drive and can't do it in time for school, so he said "do it at a weekend" - can't afford to as nearly £100 return in fuel.  So yes they maybe negative answers but they are genuine ones and not made up excuses.

Onwards and upwards is the only way.