February 9th 2015 - Depression
Today I had a telephone conversation with a counsellor I was referred to by my GP for Depression. After going through the answers to the questionaire I was sent and answering her questions she conifrmed I am suffering from depression - well yes luv thats why I was referred to you!!! Tell me something I don't know!
So this hasn't helped my mood much. So for todays pin I don't have 1 pin but a whole new
board linked to depression.
There are many factors linked to my depression and low mood, and they stem back over 10years to when my Mum died, add to that 2 years later my Dad dying, move forward a few more years and my Hubby has a serious road accident of which had he been in a car wouldn't be alive today, filter into this lack of money, moving away from my friends and family (don't get me wrong I love where I live now, but I do miss my close friends), then there is the chronic knee pain resulting from twising it 2years ago and surgery almost 1 year ago, plus probably loads of other little things that on their own would be fine but altogether are a big problem. I have tried to be strong and hide it for too long and it has just got to the point I can't do it any more. I have spent the past 10years on and off anti-depressants.
I am fed up of not sleeping but being tired all the time, being hungry but not wanting to eat, being in constant pain, having no energy all the time. The list goes on.
Anyway, hopefully the counsellor I see in person will be more use and come up with ideas to sort me out.
My Gp said I was a negative person as I came up with a reason why I couldn't do what he suggested - errrr no its genuine reasons. He said "wrap up warm and go for a long walk" - I can't as recovering from knee surgery - some days just walking around the house hurts. He said "go to the pub for dinner with your Hubby" - I can't as we can't afford to as on benefits. He said "go to the pub for drinks" - just told you we can't afford to. He said "go shopping with your lady friends during the day" - errr that involves money that I don't have and most are at work during the day. He said "visit family" - I can't they are 5hrs down south in a car and I don't drive and can't do it in time for school, so he said "do it at a weekend" - can't afford to as nearly £100 return in fuel. So yes they maybe negative answers but they are genuine ones and not made up excuses.
Onwards and upwards is the only way.
